Interviewer voice: We all know Starr from her decades of hard work and art which I will now hide to make room for informal sexism and unfounded accusations about her personal life. This week, on an actual televised news show, I sit down with her for an exclusive interview where nothing stands back.
The interlocutor: Star Female, you are sexy, which is great for you.
Najm: Thank you, yes, it is.
Interviewer Shane Smith: How many eating disorders can you say caused you such a wonderful body?
Najm: I don’t have an eating disorder. I just work out and maintain a healthy diet.
Interviewer: Anorexia? Bulimia? That thing you smoke so much crack that you start eating crack instead of a balanced breakfast?
Najm: As I said – I am eating healthy and exercising. I literally have every coach and nutritionist at my disposal.
The axes: fun. So how do you justify giving every girl in America an eating disorder when you can’t even bother?
Voice of the Interviewer: I will ask her critical and unfair questions about her career. . .
Interviewer: Do you like your voice?
Najma: I think so –
Axes: [Making notes on a pad of paper.] cocky.
Najma: I mean, there are people who have better voices –
Axes: [Sharp intake of breath.] Low self-esteem – worrying.
Voice of the interlocutor :. . . Her childhood. . .
The Interviewer: This is a photo of you from before you were famous. Look at that little girl.
Interviewer: Oh, really. Now, in this photo, you are several years younger than you are today. How do you expect your fans to feel about these drastic changes?
Najma: You mean – old age?
The interviewer: What do you think the little girl would do if she saw you now? Would you be proud? Does she kill herself? My money is killing itself.
Voice of the interlocutor :. . . And, of course, hugely inappropriate areas of her personal life.
The axes: America wants, needs, and above all, Deserve To know – are you a virgin, or what’s going on there?
Najma: I will not comment on that. I just think it’s special.
The interviewer: You say it’s private, and here you are lying on a bed, on the cover of a magazine, the exact place where sex is taking place. Curious, isn’t it?
Najm: That was a fun photography. I did not choose which photos they used.
The Interviewer: Okay, but shouldn’t you, a sixteen-year-old, have the marketing and PR intelligence of a major corporation, as well as personally own the director of a group of older, mostly male professionals, in order to get exactly the pictures you want?
Star: I –
Axes: without Being a bitch about it?
Voice of the interviewer: The unearned moments of “Masstati” will shock you, as the story of an innocent young woman begins to unravel.
The interviewer: What do you say to allegations that you were within the same city limits as people who use hard drugs?
Najma: I cannot control what other people are doing.
Interviewer: Well, of course. You’ll tell me you have it Not around To adult strangers, even though we know men want to have sex with you?
STAR: Well, public display as a sexual thing isn’t really the same as power in our society –
The Interviewer: What? Sorry, your breasts have drained me, this is actually your fault.
Interviewer: Yes, we will be discussing the most famous separation that ever occurred between two children.
The interviewer: I denied having a sexual relationship with a loved one. Weird, because it was particularly captivating to an on-air radio host, in fact, it did. So I guess my question is, why did you refuse to congratulate him publicly for getting dressed?
Najma: I don’t think I need –
The Interviewer: Everyone else is proud of him. Received the Congressional Medal for being the largest stud.
Najm: Is that. . . Fact?
Axes: [Raising eyebrows] I see we didn’t have time for civics lessons between the concerts. This will make my detailed questions about the Iraq war even more devastating.
Interviewer Voice: You won’t want to miss the amazing confessions that she brutally forced to take out of her in a phony intimate environment, this week, on a real news program.
Interviewer: Finally, I would just like to ask you – Do you think you deserve love?
STAR: Yeah, I think so.
– Interviewer: Lol, well, did we say lol in 2007?