Therapist and counselor Peggy Fitzsimmons, who has been helping people eliminate trash from their lives for fifteen years, points out that getting rid of trash isn’t ultimately about making space—it’s a spiritual endeavor on its own.
The new Fitzsimmons book, Edition: Create a clutter-free and spirit-driven life, is a guide to letting things go, whether they are physical belongings, mental and emotional buildup, stagnant energy, or strained relationships. By examining each area of our lives and making decisions about what remains and what will happen, Fitzsimmons says, we can rediscover what is healthiest for us. The excerpt below, from Chapter Five of ReleaseSeven questions we ask ourselves to determine if something is worth sticking with.
The questions below are a roadmap for your faltering journey. Ask them about everything in your life and listen carefully for the answers. If you follow this map, the things in your life that are in line with your soul, and the things that are incompatible with your soul, will begin to reveal themselves. You will be on the road to freedom.
Does it contribute to my spiritual intent?
Does this thought, feeling, energy, way of attachment, or possession contribute to the intent of your soul? For example, does it help you feel more spacious, live easily and efficiently, or feel light and bright, relaxed and engaged? This question sums up directly what is necessary. It’s really the only question you need to solve. Answering “no” to this question indicates that it is time to give something up. Easy enough, but your selfish mind will make it complicated. He will examine, refute, worry, and make a fuss. He will do his best to keep you holding on to things that don’t contribute to your spiritual intent. The rest of the questions will help you make decisions that support the knowledge of your soul.
Is it beautiful?
Is this thought, feeling, energy, way of relating, or possession beautiful? This is simple enough, but there is one caveat here. You might be able to say, “Yes, that’s a beautiful abstract painting,” but if you prefer realistic paintings, you’d be a candidate for the release. As with anything else it is not in keeping with your soul’s preference for beauty. If it is not beautiful You areLet her go.
Is it useful?
Is this thought, feeling, energy, way of attachment, or possession helpful? You are looking for things that contribute to your effectiveness in life and enable you to do the things your soul wants to do. This question seems self-explanatory, but be aware when answering. You can say, “Okay, this thought I needed everyone’s approval to stay safe in my life helped me, so yeah, it helps,” but the truth is, it’s keeping you from living life your way. Or you could say, “Yes, these ski poles are very useful,” but the truth is that you stopped skiing years ago. Be clear that no matter what, it really pays to live your soul’s intent now. If that doesn’t work for you, leave it.
Do you love me again?
Is that thought, feeling, energy, attachment or acquisition method loving you again? The things you love and that love you back make your heart sing. feel good. In their presence, your energy lights up and you say, “Oh, I love it!”
Be curious if things in your life trigger this type of emotion. Or is it more like the vase your ex-husband’s parents gave you: the ugly yellow vase with little red hummingbirds that make you sway every time you see them? Or the shame you get when you compare your body to the airbrushed models in magazines? Or your frustration when random, stacked things fall into the hall closet every time you take out the vacuum cleaner? These are examples of things you don’t like. They hit you with an energy current that isn’t real to you. It is not wise to subject yourself to this frequently. If he doesn’t love you back, let him go.
Is it at present?
Is this thought, feeling, energy, way of attachment, or possession in the present? Most of us don’t live in the present. Either we locate ourselves in the past, the land of memories, old beliefs, or charged feelings from other times and places; Or in the future it is the land of fear and planning. If you’ve been hanging out in the past, you’ll notice yourself thinking and talking a lot about days gone by. You might glorify old relationships, lament how you used to be a size six, or repeatedly tell stories about the trials and tribulations in your life. You’ll have skinny clothes in your closet, a filing cabinet that barely opens, and regret that you didn’t say yes to that job offer five years ago. You will feel more guilt, sadness, or anger than you care to admit.
If you’re hanging out in the future, you’ll find yourself focusing on what might happen. You will plan in advance to miss the moment or be too vigilant about everything so you can manage any impending disasters. You will helicopter for everyone in your life and pride yourself on anticipating their “own” needs. You’ll have full clothes in your closet, an abundance of worry, and plenty of brown grocery bags stuffed in the space between your fridge and kitchen cupboard. You’ll be prepared for any eventuality, and you’ll hear yourself saying things like “I should keep this, just in case,” “I might need to someday,” or “What if…?”
Remember that the ego does its best to keep us both past and future. But our soul is at home for the time being, dancing with life as it is, moment by moment. When we live in the present, our physical environments reflect who we are now and what our lives are like now. We are ready to experience the moments that come, without rushing or waiting. We are confident that everything we really need comes to us at the right time and in the best way, and that we have, and have always had, the flexibility and ability to respond to everything that happens in our lives. If there is nothing at present, let it go.
Does she have a sacred place to live?
Does this thought, feeling, energy, way of attachment or possession have a sacred place to live? I think it’s this way. Of all the things in this big world, I chose this particular thing to fill in the spaces inside and out. The fact that you chose it automatically makes it sacred. So you should respect her and appreciate her service to you. You must ensure that she has a sacred place to live. If it’s a property, treat it with respect by keeping it and the place where you live clean and neat. Even if they are lowered into a drawer, cupboard, or closet in the garage, make sure they are easy to see, reach, and easily find. If it is about an idea, feeling, energy, or relationship that you choose to keep, it should also be given an honorable place. It should be visible, accessible and appreciated. The scattered soul lives transparently, with everything in its rightful place. If you can’t find a sacred place for something, let it go.
Does he help me serve my love to the world?
Does this thought, feeling, energy, way of attachment, or possession help you serve your love of the world? We are here to be of service by sharing our love. Your soul knows the unique ways you are meant to love. You’ve always had a certain way, certain skills, certain talents, certain dreams about who you want to be and what you want to do. When you share your love with the world, you know it. Your heart is open, alive with intent and purpose. You are in your natural flow, with nothing impeding the river of your focus and energy. You receive more than you can give. If something in your indoor or outdoor space is not helping you serve your love for the world, it is no longer serving you. Let her go.
Excerpted with permission from Waterside Productions.
Peggy Fitzsimmons He is a consultant, therapist, and author who focuses on intense deconstruction. For twenty-five years, I’ve helped people recover from mental health and addiction issues in clinical settings and through therapy in the wild. Fitzsimmons holds a Ph.D. in Psychology from Arizona State University and is trained in Hakkum physical therapy and intuitive energy therapy. Her first book is Edition: Create a clutter-free and spirit-driven life.
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