I Carry You With Me mixes reality and drama in a heartbreaking gay love story: NPR


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Cristian Vazquez as Gerardo and Armando Espetia as Evan I carry you with me.

Alejandro Lopez Pineda / Sony Pictures Classics


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Alejandro Lopez Pineda / Sony Pictures Classics


Cristian Vazquez as Gerardo and Armando Espetia as Evan I carry you with me.

Alejandro Lopez Pineda / Sony Pictures Classics

When we meet Evan on the subway platform in New York at first I carry you with me, lost in thought. He appears to be in his early fifties, and has been thinking for about 30 years in Mexico that the movie is about to be recreated. It’s a past he remembers full of waiting.

He was waiting for the mother of his 5-year-old son to let him take his son Ricky on a play date. Waiting to cook, instead of washing dishes in the restaurant as his boss was forever urging him to be patient. Waiting for a relationship that can work out in a Mexican society that forces gay men to work underground. Only when Evan (Armando Espetia) meets Gerardo (Cristian Vazquez) and falls in love with him, does his story take a fateful turn. He decided to cross the US border where things might be better and could start over.

I carry you with me It is the first feature film by documentary director Heidi Ewing. It’s a creative blend of the real-life story of Iv├ín and Gerardo told through documentary footage and a heartbreaking fantasy drama with actors. Over the course of several years, Ewing has photographed Evan and Gerardo going about their lives. Then, I worked backwards from those documentary footage, wrote their drama, and found actors playing it in their early twenties, also in childhood when they dealt with oppressive parents differently.

The film is not only an indictment of homophobia that Ivan and Gerardo faced, but it is also an accurate portrayal of what drives people to leave home and family at great personal cost. Director Heidi Ewing He told NPR’s morning editionAnd the “For me, there are a lot of nuances in the movie because although you see the conflict at times on the verge of being violent between fathers and their gay sons, you also see the tenderness and confusion and ignorance that drive the anger of parents.”

Ewing first met the real Evan and Gerardo 15 years ago. After years of their friendship, they told the director their harrowing story in greater depth at the 2012 edition of Sundance Festival. It seems fitting that a film that grew out of those conversations also won the hearts of Sundance goers when it premiered there in 2020. The film scooped the festival’s Next Audience Award, as well as the Creator Award for its director.

Documentary and narrative pieces I carry you with me They don’t always get along well with each other, but the shows, freehand photography, and the simple facts of bias, poverty, and dangers make it easy to get past the rough spots. It is a story of hope and sacrifice in which men who cannot be gay in Mexico, and cannot be undocumented in the United States, find themselves exchanging one kind of hiding for another.

Speaking with NPR, Ewing describes the film as the story of an American dream that “happens in slow motion”. The narrative eventually returns to the NYC platform where the film first begins as the real-life Evan waits and reflects on his past. As Ewing says, “He dreams of going back to Mexico but realizes that if he leaves here, he won’t be able to come back. And that’s the dilemma. And it continues until this very moment.”

I carry you with me It’s a distinct, sometimes agonizing hybrid – a piece of decades-old “dramatic” fairy tale about a dream that didn’t go according to plan. But then again, what dream does he do?


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